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How We Remember by J M Monaco #BlogTour


"Every family has its secrets, and many have sibling rivalries. When Jo O'Brien returns home after her mother's death, she is forced to confront both.

An unexpected inheritance fans the flames of existing tensions between Jo and her brother, and their mother's long-forgotten diary recalls the messy aftermath of an uncle's sexual advances towards Jo when she was a teenager. Like the diary, Jo's memory of events is full of gaps, but one thing is certain - she will never regain what was lost. How We Remember traces the effects of alcoholism, mental illness and abuse on one Irish-Italian-American, working-class family."

Jo O'Brien, an American living in London, returns home for her mothers funeral. Triggered by her mother's diary the trip stirs painful memories from her childhood. What follows is a snapshot of memories from her teenage days right up to her present mid 50s self and a savage look at family dynamic.

How We Remember isn't a plot driven book. Instead it has a wealth of complex characters all with problems that are (only just) hidden under the surface. Take Jo, a successful academic professor from humble beginnings who had returned to education, lived abroad and had a happy marriage. I loved how, as the book progressed, this image was stripped subtly, colossally and methodically from her.

It would be a fantastic book to discuss at a book group as the issues touched upon are so wide ranging and the themes so brilliantly woven. Love - of a best friend, of another woman, of a man, of a sister. Pain - of having no children, of living with physical pain, of self blame, self doubt and grief.

Whilst not being plot driven certain parts of the book were very tense, the reveal about the PHD student, the funeral confrontation, I was gripped! There were also some really difficult chapters to read. It was heartbreaking to read about her Aunt Peggy's letter and Jo's thoughts about her mother because of it. I was angry when Jo started to blame herself for her Uncle's actions and shocked by the bedroom incident with her brother. Strong emotional reactions were a plenty as I progressed through the chapters and I realised about a third of the way through that it had really got under my skin.

As well as strong characters and emotional content it was really well written, the play on the sentence "I've been having some counselling with Wendy the therapist (Ron)" being particularly excellent. It felt like a sad memoir about deeply flawed people trying desperately to be fine but failing.

I appreciated how Monaco didn't sugar coat the ending and whilst I am not sure whether I liked JoI enjoyed the tense emotional recollections of this often anti-heroine and found her believable both as a teenager and as a middle aged woman which is not an easy thing to pull off. An accomplished debut which I really enjoyed.

My thanks to Red Door Publishing who provided me with a copy of the book in return for an honest review.





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